I have never really been a resolution person. For me, it just feels like it sets me up for disappointment if I don't meet a bunch of arbitrary expectations of what I am supposed to have done in the course of a year. There are so many other factors that can go into accomplishing different things and if the universe just doesn't have it in the cards, then no matter how bad you want it to happen, it just won't.
Last year I decided to try doing a word of the year. It felt like it would be easy enough; it would set the tone of the year and be something to infuse into so many different aspects of my life, but it wouldn't be specific goals.
I chose the word 'Joy'.
Considering what a year 2020 turned out to be, it ended up being a great word to have in my life. There were so many times when all of the wild things were happening last year that I really reframed a lot of how I look at joy, and how it is possible to have it in your life when the world around you seems to be crumbling. I found that it didn't have to be some sort of toxic positivity troupe. It could be something as simple as the fact that I got out of bed that day. That I was able to enjoy a hot cup of coffee. That I got a hug from my husband at just the right time. That my kids did something particularly funny. I was able to find joy in small moments without worrying about if they were big enough, grand enough.
I thought long and hard about what I wanted my word to be for 2021 and it didn't really come to me until the last couple days of the year. I ultimately decided on 'Persevere'. I am cautiously hopeful that we will start rising from some of the chaos of 2020, and I want to be able to keep moving and growing. I want to persevere though the moments when I feel like I can't, and I want to persevere through the moments where I feel like I am winning the fight.
No matter what tangible things I accomplish this year, that is my only real goal.
To just keep going.
Tomorrow is August 17th. Eight years ago tomorrow, my aunt who raised me in the place of my parents (my father has never been in my life and my mother, her sister, died when I was nine; they are another story for another time) died. She was 67. I wasRead more >
I was a single mother for over three years when I met Sean. In the time since my divorce I had dated, and even one or two of those relationships had been serious, but above any relationship I would have with someone was the relationship that I had with myRead more >
My husband Sean & I, June 2020 If I had to say one feature of both Sean’s and mine that gets commented on the most, it would be our hair. He generally has his worn in a ‘fro of various lengths and while I wear my natural hair straight (franklyRead more >
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The last week has fundamentally changed me in ways that I am just coming to terms with and that I know I am still going to be unpacking and trying to understand for a long time to come. If you know me in my personal life, I am someone whoRead more >
It is the day before my middle child Ezra’s birthday. He will be three years old. I spent part of my evening sobbing in a Target parking lot while I ran out to get batteries. I wasn’t crying because my child is growing up and I want to keep himRead more >
It often feels like there are two different camps of folks; either you are a ‘wine mom’ who loves kicking back with a glass or two or you are someone with addiction issues (which let me stop and say this; addicts need love and compassion, not judgement) who completely hasRead more >
It is March 27, 2020 as I write this. As is very apparent to everyone, there is a global pandemic with COVID-19 and its center. I am someone who resides in the United States and in just a couple of short weeks, things have rapidly changed. There are mandatory ‘stayRead more >
Hey there, loves! I am sure some of y’all noticed that I took a little break from Style Sunday; the holidays were pretty busy and we also got hit really hard with illness the last couple of weeks in December. It’s January, though, and it’s time to start fresh! IRead more >