Today is such a special day; my oldest son Nate is turning thirteen. It is so wild to me because I cannot believe that thirteen years have gone by so quickly. I know every parent says the years go by fast but it literally feels like it was just yesterday that I gave birth to him and now he is quickly about to surpass me in height and already has bigger hands and feet than I do. We joke that his voice is deeper than Sean’s, but it’s really true.
I feel like twelve going into thirteen was the biggest year of transition. Nate’s sweet personality, sense of humor, and generous spirit have remained the same, but I feel like I can truly see the kind of adult that he is going to become. He has become even more self-assured and he owns so much of who he is and what he is about. I wish that I had the strength and sense of self that he does when I was his age. It has been a year of learning, growing, and realizations that have made him blossom. He has more courage inside of him that he realizes and I take pride in his trust and openness with me.
I know a lot of people wish their kids would remain small forever, but I truly don’t. Watching Nate become a teenager is one of the greatest gifts and I love what our relationship has evolved into. We talk, we laugh, we can dig deep. We are so much alike and have the same silly, sometimes dark sense of humor. Watching him grow up into this interesting and incredible person is a gift. I don’t long for his babyhood because this season of our lives is so rich and so good.
I will forever be grateful to be his mother, and I am more proud of him than I can say in a blog post. The thirteen years he has been alive have been the best years of my life. He profoundly and deeply changed me as a person and made me believe that soulmates are real and not just a romantic thing. We are so connected to each other and it’s a gift I will never take for granted.
He will be reading this (I always get consent and permission first), so I love you so much, Nathaniel Maddox. I am so glad you were born and I am so in love with being your mom.